Shadowno's Collection of Oneshots
by shadowno
Summary: Basically, any oneshots i write will go into this story
1. Introduction

Authors Note

I've recently been succumbed with writers block on all current projects, so in an attempt to get back in my writing groove, i'm going to start this collection of one shots. Each will be different, some funny, some with lots of action, most with no back story. Some with plot, some with romance. Pretty much any little ideas I come up with will go here. Eventually there will be something for everyone.


	2. Seperate Worlds

Separate Worlds

Language

The Streets of the Sector 3 Plate were full of people, vendors from below the plate had there karts all set up along the street, the stores were all open, and all the Uptown people were walking throughout the makeshift shopping center. It wasn't uncommon for there to be a massive even like this on Sundays. The young blond girl clung to her mothers hand, as he family walked through the crowds. Her parents took her to the market every Sunday. It was the only time she really saw them, both being employed by Shinra. They arrived at there destination, and there father went inside, leaving Elena and her mother a small amount of Gil, only 50,000. They went to browse, as they always did every Sunday while father went to that place. Her mother stopped at one of the karts, admiring a necklace of pearls. That's when a commotion stirred across the road.

"Get back here you little hooligan!" Roared an angry shopkeeper. The large bald headed shopkeeper took off after the Young redheaded boy, who couldn't of been much older than Elena. Only Elena saw the boy dive behind the trashcan at the alleyway, the bald man ran right past it.

"God, can you believe that they let that filth from the slums up on the plate?" Elena's mother asked the Vendor.

"I know, they should just lock them all down there."

Elena took this chance to slip over to the alleyway. She approached the trashcan cautiously, but determined. She near had a heart attack when the redhead jumped out from behind.

"ah, you gave me such a fright!" She complained at the redhead.

"That's what you get for trying to sneak up on a future Turk."

"Ha" Elena scoffed. "To be a Turk requires money, skill, and most of all connections. My father has already reserved a spot for me the moment a graduate school. They don't take thieving trash like you."

"You know what, for being such a pretty girl, you sure are a bitch." The Redhead retorted.

"Who are you, to dare call me that! I'll have your name."

"I'm Reno!" The boy said cockily, pointing to himself with his thumb. " The greatest thief in the slums, and future Turk."  
"Well Reno, we'll see about that. I doubt you'll even survive that long. You'll be dead within the month."

"Yeah right, whatever. You don't really think that."

"Yes I do!" Elena stomped her foot.

"yeah right, you know you like me."

"wha... I... I have no such feelings!" Elena Stammered.

"yeah right, why would you have come over here? Admit it, you like the bad boys."

"YOU'RE STUPID, YOU'LL NEVER BE A TURK!"

"And you like bad boys."

"GAH, I HATE YOU!" Elena yelled. She then turned around and stomped away, trying to hide her rose red cheeks. How had he seen through her that easy?

Reno smirked to himself, and walked out of the alley way.

"There you are, you little punk!" The Vendor said, spotting him.

"Not again." Reno said to himself, exasperated, as he took off down the street full speed.


	3. No Love Lost

No Love Lost

Vincent sat in the cave hidden behind the waterfall, no one within miles but him and the woman that he loved. Ever since the end of the crisis for the planet, he had spent all his time here. He desperately wanted to speak to the lifeless body in front of him, wanted forgiveness. He had failed her, he had let that man, Hojo, destroy her. Though if it hadn't been for her, who knows what he would of become as a result to Hojo's experiments. He didn't like to think about it. He already had an uncontrollable monster inside of him, but at least he was able to contain it to the degree he had. Recently he had been over come by even more grief. He knew it had to be done, but regardless of that, he had helped kill Lucretia's son, Sephiroth. He realized now, that no matter what he did, he could never be forgiven for his past sins. Sometimes he regretted what had happened. He knew a long time ago, when he joined the Turks, that he would witness horrible things. And so he had, but he always excused it, always look at it from the right perspective. "We're doing this to create the perfect world Powered by Mako. He had been helping people in the long run. He scoffed to himself, echoing off the cold stone walls of the cave. He stood and began to pace back and forth in front of Lucretia.

"Lucretia." He said as he stopped pacing, and turned towards what was left of her. He knew it was a mere shell, but he continued none the less. "Back then, when we were young... I was a fool. I was mesmerized, as was everyone else, by the Shinra Electric Company. I thought by joining them, I could change the world for the better. Make it a better place to live. But, when I was assigned to the manor, to you and Hojo's place of research. When I met you, I fell in love with you... even then I couldn't save you from what Hojo was planning. You were always so excited about the research. It was only afterwards that you realized what it met for you, and for your child. The child I killed, I hope you realize that there was no other choice."

He stopped, waiting for the response he knew would never come. It never would. Forever was her voice silenced. He sat back down, gazing at her, almost as if he were mesmerized. Finally he stood up, he knew what he had to do. Reaching down, he grabbed his weapon.

"Death Penalty." he told himself, the rifle in his hands felt warm, despite the coldness of the cave. "How fitting a name." With that he turned the rifle on himself. The roar of the shot echoed throughout the cave, muting the low thud that had followed it.


	4. Head in the Clouds

Head in the Clouds

Sexuality, language, Crude Humor

"Ow, Cloud, you have no idea what you're doing do you?" Tifa asked annoyed. Cloud quickly climbed off of her, he looked disappointed in himself. Tifa continued to ridicule him. "God, there's no way Aerith would have been able to survive you that way. I think you lied about doing it with her."

Cloud looked down at the bed. "I had to, the guys wouldn't get off me for being the only virgin in the group."

"Still, you shouldn't of lied like that."

"I'm sorry Tifa, I know I should of told you the truth." He tried to hold her, but she pulled away.

"I don't think so, get your fucking clothes on, and get the hell out."

"But..."

"Out, now!"

"Come on, I know you have to be somewhat turned on still."

"And Barret is going to be here in about and hour. So out!" With this, she grabbed him, and pulled him over to the door, shoving him out, and then throwing his clothes at him. He quickly got dressed and left.

-#-

The next day at school, Tifa sat at the lunch table with her close friends, Yuffie and Elena. They hadn't even finished there food when they started in on her.

"so how was it!" Yuffie blurted out excitedly.

"oh my god, it was horrible." Tifa replied, rolling her eyes. "He's a virgin, still is too."

"so you didn't do it?" Elena asked.

"Hell no, besides, he doesn't have enough down there to do anything."

"OMG!" Yuffie squealed. "are you serious."

"so that sword he always uses in gym was compensating for something."

"totally," Tifa confirmed. "he was like, two inches max."

Yuffie's eyes got huge at this. She had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep from bursting into laughter.

"Oh my god, Tifa, don't look now, but Sephiroth is coming this way, he's looking at you." Elena suddenly burst out.

"Oh god, how's my hair?" she asked, fixing it anyway. Moments later, that deep sultry voice spoke out.

"Hey Tifa," He said. "Girls." he added, acknowledging Elena and Yuffie.

"Oh hey Sephy, what can I do for you?" Tifa asked innocently.

"well, I've been having trouble in biology, I was hoping that you could help me out."

"Of course, just come by my place after school."

"OK, I'll be there around four." he said, and walked away. Tifa turned back to Elena and Yuffie, a smug look on her face.

"Oh my god, you are so lucky." Yuffie said.

"You bitch!" Elena said, pouting.

"whatever, I better go home now, wouldn't want to tire myself out for the great fucking that beast is going to give me later."

"Yeah right, just know who got him first." Elena teased.

Tifa gritted her teeth, Elena had fucked Sephiroth about a month earlier. According to her, Sephiroth, unlike Cloud, was definitely not compensating. She practically skipped home. She lay in bed, nude, when she heard a knock at the door. "It's open!" she called out the open window. Sure enough, she heard his voice call out. "Tifa? Where are you?"

"I'm up here, in my room." She answered, readjusting herself so he got a great view as soon as he opened the door. Moments later, he opened the door, and boy what a reaction.  
"WHAT THE HELL TIFA!" Sephiroth exclaimed, shielding his eyes.

"What is it Seph? Am I not attractive enough?" She asked, covering up.

"No, you're beautiful, it's just..."

"We're not going to fuck?"

"What? Hell no?"

"So I'm ugly?"

"NO!"

"Then what?"

"Tifa, I'm gay." Seph practically yelled, and the stormed off back down the stairs.

"Wait, we can test that!" Tifa called, chasing after him.

"Get away you psychopath!"


	5. Waking up

Waking up

"It's morning, that means it's time to find mother." Kadaj said to himself, getting up off the ground. "Yazoo, Loz wake up. It's time to go, get ready."

Yazoo opened his eyes, and got up just as Kadaj was leaving the chamber. Looking around, he saw Loz, still sound asleep, clutching the teddy bear. Yazoo happily skipped over to him.

"Time to wake Loz." he said, kicking him in the side as hard as he could. Loz woke up, grabbing his side in pain, he began to cry.

"Kadaj! Yazoo just kicked me!" he screamed between sobs.

"Did not!" Argued Yazoo.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"ENOUGH!" Kadaj said, appearing at the entrance. "Yazoo, stop kicking Loz, Loz stop crying."

Yazoo and Loz both looked down at there feet, aware that a speech was going to come. They hated his speeches, even yesterday, half the children were asleep by the end of his speech about how they needed to rise up and fight back against the planet. Sure enough, Kadaj continued. "Yesterday, I drank water out of a lake with a dead chick in it. I DRANK DEAD CHICK WATER. I really wished I would of known about it before hand." Yazoo and Loz both muted there chuckles, both had known about the dead girl. "But did I cry? No, I sucked it up, and today we are going to Edge to find mother. We may even have to fight brother. If we want him to take us seriously, we have to act like adults, not sniveling little children. I'm serious, everyone will laugh at us if we... Loz, what is my teddy bear doing laying by your sleeping bag?"

Loz quickly looked at the teddy, and back at Kadaj, and then back down at his feet. His mind raced, until finally, he spoke. "Um, well, see, the thing is that, well, you don't use it anymore, and I was thinking that maybe, well, I could use him for awhile."

"Mr. Sephy isn't a toy to be passed around!" Kadaj screamed. "Here we are, trying to find mother, and all you can think about is my teddy bear! I hate you, give him back!"

"Fine!" Loz said, walking over to the teddy bear and picking it up. "it doesn't even look like brother." he teased, and then throwing the bear into the air, he kicked it, causing it to land in the water.

"MY SEPHY!" Kadaj cried, running full speed and diving into the water after it. A few minutes later, he emerged, holding the soaked teddy bear. He walked over to Loz and Yazoo, who were laughing, and punched Loz in the face. Loz immediately started crying.

"Come on, you babies." Kadaj said, walking towards the bikes. "Let's go."


	6. Awkward moment

Awkward Moment

It was late at night when Sephiroth, Zack, and their two Shinra guardsmen arrived at Nibelheim. Sephiroth wasn't looking forward to the day tomorrow, they were supposed to meet up with their guide and head up into the mountains to investigate the malfunction at the Mako Reactor. For now, Sephiroth couldn't wait to get to the Inn, get his armor off, and get a good long rest. Even with the years he had spent in SOLDIER, he would never get used to the horrid truck rides that Shinra called transport. Ignoring everyone else, Sephiroth went straight into the Inn and approached the front desk to check in.

"SOLDEIR party from Midgar." Sephiroth told the clerk. The clerk began looking through his computer for a moment, and then looked back to Sephiroth.

"Ok, right. One room, second floor." The clerk said, handing Sephiroth the key to the room.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sephiroth asked, he must of misheard them.

"Your room is on the second floor." the clerk repeated, causing Sephiroth to nod, and walk back outside. The other three were waiting for him.

"Well?" Zack asked.

"Well, it would seem that Shinra has sunken to a new low." Sephiroth said, holding up the single key.

"Wait, there's four of us." The young blond guard said, Sephiroth couldn't remember his name.

"Yeah, and one room." Sephiroth said, acting like he was explaining something to an infant.

"What he means, Cloud, is we got screwed in the pooch." Zack said. "We all have to share a room."

"You mean we have sleep in the same room?" Cloud asked, blushing.

Sephiroth couldn't believe this. How was it he could be sent on a mission with a second rate Angeal, some country bumpkin, and a third man so generic his uniform didn't even have a name tag.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." Sephiroth groaned. Turning back into the Inn. The other four men following him, they all went upstairs and entered the room.

"Looks like we're a bed short." Cloud said. "I guess me and Zack could bunk up."

Sephiroth moved over to his bed, and pulled off his heavy coat. Standing there in only his pants, he felt as if he was being watched.

"No can do Cloud, I don't do well sleeping with others, I'm a kicker. Sephiroth sleeps like a brick though, maybe you should sleep with him."

"Wait, what?" Sephiroth said, his head snapping towards Zack. "Why me?"

"Because I am a rough sleeper, and the generic guy could die at any second, that's what they do." Zack said, point at the guy as he lay on his bed. "Look at him, he didn't even take off his uniform. How would you feel if Cloud slept with him and the roof collapsed on them?"

"It could just as easily happen to me." Sephiroth argued.

"No it can't, he's generic." Zack argued.

"I could sleep on the floor." Cloud pointed out.

"God damn it!" Sephiroth yelled, kicking the nightstand. "Fine, let's just get to bed." Sephiroth said, climbing into the bed. Cloud climbed in next to him, and Zack in the bed across from them. Soon the room was filled with the three men's snores, keeping Sephiroth awake.

"This is going to be a long night." Sephiroth thought to himself, and closed his eyes.

==##==

Sephiroth woke up while it was still dark. At first, he tried to get back to sleep, until he noticed the hand on his chest. Not quite understanding what was going on, he watch as the hand started to slide down his chest. Suddenly, Cloud started breathing heavily behind Sephiroth's back. Once the hand reached Sephiroth's belt line, Sephiroth jumped to his feet.

"What the fuck!" Sephiroth yelled. He grabbed his sword, and started towards Cloud. Zack, now awake, jumped up, stopping Sephiroth's attack."

"What the hell man?" Zack asked.

"He tried to grab my SOLDIER." Sephiroth said, point at Cloud.

"Cloud, what the hell were you do..." Zack began to say, but cut himself off. He slowly turned back to Sephiroth. "What?"

"He's a fruit basket, he tried to grab my dick!"

"No, you said something else." Zack said.

"He said SOLDIER!" The generic guard said, laughing.

"Shut the fuck up, it don't change nothing." Sephiroth said.

"Ha ha, SOLDIER!" The guard kept laughing, until finally Sephiroth ran him through with Masamune.

Suddenly, the event earlier went forgotten as Zack yelled in triumph. "I told you if anyone died, it'd be Mr no name generic guard!"


End file.
